A Fat Man’s Prayer

Oh God, Thank you for listening to me at this time of prayer tonight.

God I feel fat and I must admit I think I look at little fat.

God please help me to be skinny again.

Yes I know what you are going to say.

I will start working out first thing in the morning and fast all day.

This will get me off to a good start on becoming a more healthy person.

Am I right, God?

But you know what, if I work out first thing in the morning I might be late for work

And you know I have that big meeting before lunch to prepare for.

I had better not skip breakfast either because I will need all my energy for my speech

I know, I can work all the details out over a grand slam breakfast and hit the ground running

When I get to work but I will skip coffee break and donuts.

At lunch I can start my fast and be ½ a day ahead on a full fast for the day after tomorrow

But I should meet Harvey for coffee because he has some info I need and

I probably should eat at least one donut with him because we have always had our

coffee break and jelly donut in common.

I tell you what, God, I will skip lunch and jog for my entire lunch hour,

In order to make up for the grand slam and the donut..

Well now that I think about it, if I jog at lunch

I will sweat, I will not have anywhere to shower and I will smell and my clothes will be all rumbled.

Besides I know after all that stress from the meeting I will be starving by noon.

One little cheeseburger won’t hurt

God, I promise that I will come home after work and get busy.

I will do sit ups, and pushups and eat just a salad for dinner.

As you know it is dangerous to go out at night in this neighborhood

So I will run in place while the news is on.

Uh, oh, God… I almost forgot. Tomorrow night is Tuesday night and I don’t have to tell you that

The Mrs. always makes pot roast on Tuesday nights.

In away it’s you fault God because you blessed this woman with the ability to cook like an Angel.

I certainly do not want to insult her by only eating a salad and jumping up right from the table to

Run in place on the living room carpet.

She will probably make that devils food cake with white icing I love for desert.

No, No I really don’t want to risk hurting her feelings.

God, how about we scrap the whole plan for tomorrow and I will get a

Fresh start the day after on Wednesday.

In the meantime God, thanks for everything

I am glad we had this talk as I feel

A little bit skinnier already.

MikeB